dealing with negative emotions

Unedited transcript

Question: Rinpoche, young people very often have concepts about what is good, what’s bad, often from the way they brought up. Your parents want you to be good so they teach you what is good and what’s not. This can really effect how we deal with negative thoughts and emotions. And particular in the Dharma as well, to be devoted is good, have doubts and fears is bad. Can you give us some advice on how to deal with this concepts and how to deal with the negative thoughts and emotions without suppressing them?

In general the good and bad of course you have to know what is good, what is bad. At the same time, let go of concept of good and bad. There is two things. First you know and let go.

And your another question is how to deal with those doubt, negative emotions without suppress. In general there are four meditation experiences, four meditation techniques.

One is with awareness, you can use these negative emotions as support of awareness, mindfulness. So if you watch then you are automatically out of it. Also they are there, but you are not lost in them. For example if you watch river, that means you are out of river. If you fall into river, carry by river, you cannot watch river. If you are in the mountain, you cannot see mountain much. As you back up, if you are out of mountain, then you see mountain. This is why if you see them, that means you are out of that, automatically. And then that is become object of awareness, mindfulness. Same as you watch your breath, breath comes and go, you can watch your thought and emotion. Thought and emotion also come and go.

And second is loving kindness compassion. So you use your negative emotions to understand others problems, others negative emotions. So you understand others. And not only that, you try to take other’s problem. For example if you have doubt. You try to take other’s doubt, doubt of all others beings into your own doubt and thinking that may my doubt represent for all sentient beings doubt, how nice. Hello doubt, you can have doubt no problem. But today my doubt becomes meaningful because my doubt becomes represent for all sentient beings doubt. May all beings free from doubt, because of my doubt. Wow. What I call inner recycle. Inner recycle. Doubt is garbage. Doubt, anger, jealousy, depression, fear, whatever, is like garbage. But if you do that, become positive. Doubt becomes nice.

Third is emptiness. Do you learn emptiness little bit? Who is having doubt from what? Who is angry to whom. Who is upset from what. I am emptiness, anxiety is emptiness, object of that is emptiness. Haha. Oh angry, you bustard. Young people sometimes use very bad words. Hey, don’t talk like chicken. I don’t know. This is why if you are angry with others, you can ask: Who is angry at whom? Anger lost. Not too long. Few seconds. Come back again. Maybe stronger than before. Again look. If you do that again and again, then slowly slowly the power of anger will liberated. Then one day anger will support for your practice.

Last one is nature of mind. Do you receive nature of mind pointing out teaching. Just rest in nature of mind, you don’t have to do anything. Everything is clarity, everything is manifestation of mind.

This is why, four methods, not suppress. You not suppress at all. But you are not following it. You are transforming it. And become recycle. But you cannot practice one method too long. You feel bored. Watch. Good. And next day. Watch. Okay. And next day, watch. Not okay. You don’t want to watch. You feel I am sick of watching it. And maybe you develop expectation because first time when you watch maybe negative emotion is gone. Then next time you are expecting same way. Hey I am watching you get out. No. So don’t try to eliminate negative emotion. You don’t have to eliminate. Okay to have negative emotion if you watch. This is why then change meditation technique. Compassion. It works. But after some day it doesn’t work. Emptiness. And after sometimes doesn’t work. And come back to awareness again. So it helps each other. Awareness helps emptiness, emptiness helps compassion.